October 23rd, 2020

I don't much fail

There is something that my father or mother instilled in me at one point that seems to make me different than a lot of people.  I don't really fail at things.  I mean, yeah, I fail but it never feels like failure to me.  I just don't have that in my mental vocabulary.  I try something, it works I keep doing it, it doesn't I do something else hopefully taking a lesson with me.  Anyone looking at the company I ran could probably point out any number of failures.  I threw a lot of paint at the wall and did have some people tell me to be more thoughtful.  But much of it worked and there were a lot of employees who worked for us who had better lives as a result.  But I did a lot of stuff that didn't work out, spent a lot of money on systems and advisors that fell by the wayside.  Kurt Vonnegut in my head saying 'so it goes'.  Never did I say, 'that was a failure', never did I feel it.  Just turn over the pedals and keep riding.

On the other hand I never feel like I've succeeded.  I've never felt like I'd arrived somewhere and could say I was a success at anything.  

I just hang around in the middle somewhere. It is a trade off.

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Another one bites the dust

The company was very nice and complimentary when I told them it was time for me to part ways with the customer.  The way they work is they have a number of customers (eg — Turbo Tax, Zillow) so their view is I've just backed away from that customer and I'll pick up another one day.  They are actually a good group of people but the structure is a little strange and being under the digital microscope when I'm used to owning the lab is not fun.

I've got a week left.  My last day is next Friday.

I'm working on the next plan and will focus on it hopefully as much as I did on this one.